I asked a few weeks ago that you would submit some topics that you wanted me to address and some of you did just that. Since you did, I figured I would not just address one issue, but I would do several. I feel like this is an ask DeeDee corner. I think that this may become another way to stay connected to you. By no means do I consider myself an expert at everything, however, I have been in ministry for 25 years, I have my BA in Psychology, and my MA in Human Services and I am presently getting my Ph.D. in Strategic Leadership. So, I have read a few books (LOL). One thing for sure I will never make up something to say. If I do not know, I will be quick to tell you. I suggest that all of you read each answer because it may apply to a present challenge. If you have a question, please email me. I love you, my sister!
QUESTION 1 Is it ok to divide family responsibilities?
Hello Dr. DeeDee, I have a question about whether or not I am wrong in wanting to show my husband how to handle some of the household management tasks. When I am speaking of the household management tasks, I am speaking of paying bills, managing certain accounts, completing paperwork for the children for school, appointment scheduling, etc. Currently, I work full-time, I am a Ph.D. student, and I handle the administrative functions in the home, in addition to doing the laundry, handling the majority of the responsibilities for the children, and managing the housekeeping. My husband also works full-time, and one of the things that he does that I appreciate the most is the majority of the cooking. Should I be grateful that he does that much, or should I approach him with the need that I have for him to at least know how to manage the administrative tasks? Sometimes, I feel a bit overwhelmed with the tasks that I have, which is why I feel the need to reach out to him concerning this. Thank you!
My short answer is ABSOLUTELY. I have been married for 32 years this year, and I have been the biggest Mike Freeman fan. I have supported everything he has ever wanted to do in our personal life and as well in ministry. I waited until I was in my forties to go back to school. Before I registered for school, I asked if he would mind because I knew it was going to require a lot of my time. He turned to me and said, “You have supported me, so it will be my pleasure to support you.” I think it is a matter of you communicating with your spouse to allow him to know exactly how you feel. Sometimes we make it harder than it is because we don’t ask. I do think you should get him to feel great about everything he is already doing because it will motivate him to want to do more. I know some will read this and wonder why is this even an issue because who said you had to do all of what you are doing in the house and with the kids. However, if this is how your house was established then you do have to discuss it, or you will have more problems than you want. Explain to him the amount of work that is on you. Pray that the wisdom of God will be in operation when you open your mouth to speak.
QUESTION 2 How do I Get my faith back and find my purpose?
Good morning Pastor DeeDee, I am in need of some spiritual guidance this morning. I lost my job six months ago and hadn’t had much luck finding a new one. Being unemployed has made me very depressed. It has gotten to the point where I had lost some of my faith in everything. I am trying to be strong about the situation because of my husband and three beautiful children whom I adore, but I still feel like I am drowning. My husband has been my rock and a great provider, but I still feel hopeless because I can’t contribute to our household. I have been trying to pray, but it’s tough. My question for you is will I overcome this trial in my life?
You are not alone. So many others have been in your position. I am so glad that you have asked this question. I would love to say yes you would overcome this trial. Unfortunately, you are the only one that can determine that. I can tell you that without a shadow of a doubt that you can overcome. You need to put your trust back in the Lord. Where you are is not an emergency to God and since it is not that means He already has something for you. Keep putting in applications and if they tell you no – try again and again. One thing I would strongly suggest is that you go volunteer at your house of worship and find somewhere you want to work and see if they will allow you to volunteer for a few hours a week. Take your attention off of your problem and watch it go away. Read, write, and meditate on Proverbs 3:6.
QUESTION 3 How do I let go?
Dr. Dee Dee. I find it hard sometimes to move forward and let go. How do I truly free myself from the past and current hurts? I believe the word and that God has a plan and that he is working things out for my good. I pray daily, read the word and attend bible study I just want to get to that next level. “That level of complete freedom in Him.”
Hurt is no joke. Pain is designed to paralyze you. Hurt wants to permit you from receiving what the Father has for you. You said, “I believe the word and that God has a plan and that he is working things out for my good.” Since you believe the Word look at John 14:1 Jesus said we have the power not to let our heart be troubled.
DO NOT let your hearts be troubled (distressed, agitated). You believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely on God; believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely also on Me. (Amplified Bible)
You have control over how long you will allow what someone else has done to do. Don’t allow anyone to have your power to move forward. You have to decide to walk in the liberty in which Jesus died and rose for. It was just for you! We have given time too much authority to heal and time doesn’t have that power. Nowhere in the Word has God given time power. We live in another system, and we can speak to our situation and command it to be healed. My Biblical instruction is to get you some scriptures on healing or freedom and meditate on them day and night until your healing manifests. My psychology training advice would be to write a letter to the person or persons that have caused the hurt and write everything that you have told them in your mind but never send the letter. Just do it as an act of release for you. I pray that this is the last day you hurt from this pain in Jesus Name!
Thank you ladies for your questions! I want this blog to connect us as sisters. This is our safe place. Let’s talk about it – whatever it is. Click the link below with any question you have. Your name will not be mentioned when posted, but this is so important to me because your question can free someone else! Let’s help one another and talk about it!